The Four Agreements

I have been reflecting internally on so much about life lately I don't even know where to begin!  I know the challenge for today is to share insights on what animal(s) we connect with or would be...but that feels too simple for me today, especially since birds have been very present in my energies this summer.  I know I'm in a bird phase and am growing my wings right now.  But it's not always the bird that's with me.  Sometimes the bear is more present, or the rabbit, or the lion.  It changes all the time.  Right now, it's the sacred bird (and it's a mix of several).  I am sure I can go deeper with it...but I would rather share what's been on my mind.

Self-worth and self-love is such a biggie for most of us, and for me right now.  I've been working on it in myself and seeing it come up in others as I do healing work with them.  It's just everywhere I look lately (probably because it's what I'm working on in me)!  So, I want to write about it more here and see what comes out.  There's always a different angle and different insights that are revealed.

I recently re-read "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz and it really resonated with me this time.  It made so much sense to put those agreements into practice in my life as a tool to transform more and shift out of those stuck old patterns/ programming that just don't want to leave (time to kill the parasite!)...or are so ingrained that they keep showing up again and again.  One thing I keep thinking about, and a big one for me, is the second agreement to "not take things personally".  It sounds a little shallow and too easy at face value.  But when you read the book and read more into the meaning of it, it starts to make sense....lots of sense!  I don't really want to write it all out here.  I suggest you read the book if you are interested or feel called to.

So, if I start to look at more things in my life this way, I realize how much I have taken personally,  how often I assume (oh!  there's the third agreement...don't assume) someone is upset because of me (even when I haven't done anything to upset them).  Always worried about doing what makes others happy or makes them feel good.  Worried about how others will react to me as I walk down the street or what they will think about what I post on facebook.  Anyway, this leads into how we tend to constantly look outside ourselves for the "kudos", the love, the accolades, the acknowledgments that somehow prove we are worthy, good enough, doing good work, etc, etc.  I know this was covered some by the "knight in shining armor" reflections but it's still coming up.  And I see it everywhere I turn in my life and other's lives.

Even when we have done the work and get to a point of thinking we are our own knight in shining armor, our own hero, complete in who we are, how often do we still look for those accolades?  For the validation that yes, we are good enough?  Better yet, that we are hard workers and we are awesome!  When you post your reflections for each challenge (or just a photo or other comment) on facebook, do you keep looking to find out who has responded or liked it?  Does it make you feel "good" if several people said how much it meant to them or how beautiful it was and how wise or creative you are?  Do you want to see more of that?  Does it make you feel "bad" if no-one comments or only 2 people liked it?  Do you start to wonder why...why is my post not connecting with people the way that other person's did?  Am I not creative enough, am I not deep enough, am I not being vulnerable enough, am I being too vulnerable?  It seems so easy to fall back into that hole...even when you are aware of it.

I will admit, every now and then a hint of that self-judgement starts to creep up in various situations (and yes, on facebook too!).  But if I try to remember to "not take things personally" I remember that I am worthy and "good enough" whether or not anyone sees it.  Because, after all, what they are really seeing in me is a reflection of themselves.  So, it isn't personal.  They aren't reacting to me, they are reacting to what they see in themselves through me.  If you love me, you are loving yourself.  If you see the beauty in me, you are seeing the beauty in yourself.  If you think I'm crazy, there is something being triggered in you to look more closely at.  Perhaps, also, the way people react to us is allowing us to see where we are on our paths or just how we see ourselves in the moment.  If everyone around me is repelled by me, perhaps it's because I'm repelled by myself so it's time to take a look at why (shadow work!).  If everyone around me is showering love, perhaps it's because I'm showering myself with love and self-care so it's being reflected back to me.  This is complicated, right?  In one aspect, others are seeing themselves in me and reacting based on what they see in themselves....and yet, in the other aspect, how I perceive they are reacting to me is a reflection of me and how I am treating or seeing myself.  Confused yet?  I am a little.  LOL!

Oh..and one more thing.  We all live with different belief systems, different truths, different realities.  So why should it matter if my truth isn't "approved" by others?  It doesn't mean I'm any less worthy or that my truth is any less valid.

Ultimately, as I practice not taking things personally but still being responsible for my choices, being authentic, being aware, being compassionate and walking a path of highest good, I am able to start stepping more fully into my power and really feeling my true self-worth.  I feel more present and whole.  This is really new for me and some days are harder than others.  But then I just remind myself to "do the best I can".  That's all we can do right?, do the best we can in each moment (fourth agreement!).

Ometeotl

Two young eagles observing the world from above, learning how to survive out there.