Living Mindfully as the Creator of Your Life

I've been busy doing some healing work and photography gigs.  Sometimes these things take up most of my day and there isn't much time left to purposefully create something more.

Today I was busy again, preparing for our week long camping trip on the North Shore (in Minnesota....not on the Island of Oahu :-) ).  As I was cooking some Kitchari (yum!) to take along, I started thinking about what I would create for the challenge today.  Then it came to me that I WAS creating!  I was creating some incredible food.  Not only that, but in each and every moment I am creating my future.  In every second of every day I am creating, for I am the creator of my life, as you are the creator of your life, and together we are the co-creators of this 3D reality.

I was then reminded of how we learn it's best to be living in the "now", in the moment, and not dwelling in the past or worrying about the future.  However, each "now" moment is actually a moment of creation for what our life is becoming, our "future" as we have chosen to call it.  While we shouldn't worry about the future, we should be mindful of it as this is our life being created in the NOW.  So, you ask, how do we be mindful of our future, of our manifested life?  Be mindful in each moment, each second of every day.

What does this mean to be "mindful" of each moment?  To be mindful means to be consciously aware of your actions, of what you are creating with your thoughts, your words, your interactions with other people, your interactions with yourself, the physical movements you make...  Wow, it starts to sound a little overwhelming to have to be mindful with everything we do, right?  But it's not.  If we are awake, if we are conscious, it becomes easy.

The key is to commit to living consciously.  Make the commitment to yourself as this will spread to others.  As you commit to yourself to live consciously with the best of intentions, you will begin to integrate that which is for your highest good into each moment, every second of your day, every day.  You will notice you will start to feed your body, mind and soul that which makes it thrive and live more fully in the greatest love with ease.  You will begin to naturally release and eliminate those things that are not serving you (like old emotions, alcohol, etc...). It will no longer be "work" as you stick to your commitment to be mindful, to be conscious. This is not to say that all the pains and challenges will disappear, but they will become easier to walk through, easier to live with and your moments will be more joyful, even during the pain.  Yes, this is so.

And these are my thoughts for the day.

Ometeotl

The Four Agreements

I have been reflecting internally on so much about life lately I don't even know where to begin!  I know the challenge for today is to share insights on what animal(s) we connect with or would be...but that feels too simple for me today, especially since birds have been very present in my energies this summer.  I know I'm in a bird phase and am growing my wings right now.  But it's not always the bird that's with me.  Sometimes the bear is more present, or the rabbit, or the lion.  It changes all the time.  Right now, it's the sacred bird (and it's a mix of several).  I am sure I can go deeper with it...but I would rather share what's been on my mind.

Self-worth and self-love is such a biggie for most of us, and for me right now.  I've been working on it in myself and seeing it come up in others as I do healing work with them.  It's just everywhere I look lately (probably because it's what I'm working on in me)!  So, I want to write about it more here and see what comes out.  There's always a different angle and different insights that are revealed.

I recently re-read "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz and it really resonated with me this time.  It made so much sense to put those agreements into practice in my life as a tool to transform more and shift out of those stuck old patterns/ programming that just don't want to leave (time to kill the parasite!)...or are so ingrained that they keep showing up again and again.  One thing I keep thinking about, and a big one for me, is the second agreement to "not take things personally".  It sounds a little shallow and too easy at face value.  But when you read the book and read more into the meaning of it, it starts to make sense....lots of sense!  I don't really want to write it all out here.  I suggest you read the book if you are interested or feel called to.

So, if I start to look at more things in my life this way, I realize how much I have taken personally,  how often I assume (oh!  there's the third agreement...don't assume) someone is upset because of me (even when I haven't done anything to upset them).  Always worried about doing what makes others happy or makes them feel good.  Worried about how others will react to me as I walk down the street or what they will think about what I post on facebook.  Anyway, this leads into how we tend to constantly look outside ourselves for the "kudos", the love, the accolades, the acknowledgments that somehow prove we are worthy, good enough, doing good work, etc, etc.  I know this was covered some by the "knight in shining armor" reflections but it's still coming up.  And I see it everywhere I turn in my life and other's lives.

Even when we have done the work and get to a point of thinking we are our own knight in shining armor, our own hero, complete in who we are, how often do we still look for those accolades?  For the validation that yes, we are good enough?  Better yet, that we are hard workers and we are awesome!  When you post your reflections for each challenge (or just a photo or other comment) on facebook, do you keep looking to find out who has responded or liked it?  Does it make you feel "good" if several people said how much it meant to them or how beautiful it was and how wise or creative you are?  Do you want to see more of that?  Does it make you feel "bad" if no-one comments or only 2 people liked it?  Do you start to wonder why...why is my post not connecting with people the way that other person's did?  Am I not creative enough, am I not deep enough, am I not being vulnerable enough, am I being too vulnerable?  It seems so easy to fall back into that hole...even when you are aware of it.

I will admit, every now and then a hint of that self-judgement starts to creep up in various situations (and yes, on facebook too!).  But if I try to remember to "not take things personally" I remember that I am worthy and "good enough" whether or not anyone sees it.  Because, after all, what they are really seeing in me is a reflection of themselves.  So, it isn't personal.  They aren't reacting to me, they are reacting to what they see in themselves through me.  If you love me, you are loving yourself.  If you see the beauty in me, you are seeing the beauty in yourself.  If you think I'm crazy, there is something being triggered in you to look more closely at.  Perhaps, also, the way people react to us is allowing us to see where we are on our paths or just how we see ourselves in the moment.  If everyone around me is repelled by me, perhaps it's because I'm repelled by myself so it's time to take a look at why (shadow work!).  If everyone around me is showering love, perhaps it's because I'm showering myself with love and self-care so it's being reflected back to me.  This is complicated, right?  In one aspect, others are seeing themselves in me and reacting based on what they see in themselves....and yet, in the other aspect, how I perceive they are reacting to me is a reflection of me and how I am treating or seeing myself.  Confused yet?  I am a little.  LOL!

Oh..and one more thing.  We all live with different belief systems, different truths, different realities.  So why should it matter if my truth isn't "approved" by others?  It doesn't mean I'm any less worthy or that my truth is any less valid.

Ultimately, as I practice not taking things personally but still being responsible for my choices, being authentic, being aware, being compassionate and walking a path of highest good, I am able to start stepping more fully into my power and really feeling my true self-worth.  I feel more present and whole.  This is really new for me and some days are harder than others.  But then I just remind myself to "do the best I can".  That's all we can do right?, do the best we can in each moment (fourth agreement!).

Ometeotl

Two young eagles observing the world from above, learning how to survive out there.

Energy of Money and Self Worth

Our challenge today is to reflect on money and our relationship with it.  This is always an interesting topic!

Money is energy, like everything is.  The problem is that many of us value money more than almost anything else because we feel we need money to be able to do what we want, have what we want, heck...even to to simply survive (buy food, shelter, clothing)!  Our society and conditioning has led us to put money above all else and to feel like we never have enough.  Well, when we do this, we de-value ourselves on an energetic level.  We see money as the highest vibration.  If we continue on this path, we are not able to place our own vibration at the same level as "money", making it almost impossible to attract it into our lives (since like attracts like, right?).  It's hard to truly believe in our core that we ARE more worthy than the almighty dollar.  We are valuable and deserve abundance in all areas of life!  So how do we shift out of that old pattern of putting money above us, as better than us?  I'm still working on it.

I have struggled with my thoughts and energy around money for a long, long time and still do.  I never made money my priority in life but always felt I needed to get the 8-5 job to make money to pay the bills, to eat, to live.  Rather than truly taking time to follow my passion I went right for the job after college.  I somehow believed that it wasn't possible to make money from my passion of photography because it was just a life-long hobby, just a passion.  I believed somewhere in my core, as my husband continues to believe, that the harder I worked at that 8-5 job, the more money I would make.  I think many of us know this is NOT true!!!  Some of the hardest workers are paid the least.  But that's the old way of thinking, that we need to have a really strong work ethic and commit to that 8-5 job working for someone else....and eventually work our way up the corporate ladder.  But this doesn't make most people rich!  Just stressed out and kissing corporate asses.  For what exactly?  Don't get me wrong, some people do enjoy those jobs and I'm happy for them.  I'm just not one of them.  But I stayed in that job for way too long because I didn't think I was "good enough" to actually make money doing what I love most.  How silly is that?

I have experienced struggle, stress, anxiety, depression and illness related to "not having enough" money.  I even took a big risk in running my own business (with my husband) for a couple years and ended up needing to declare bankruptcy.  That sucked.  And still creates a bit of fear within me to venture out and do my own business again (because I see "failure!" from past experience).  But, guess what?  I've always been comfortable.  I've always had food and shelter.  I may not have more than a few bucks in my savings account, but my life is quite luxurious compared to many in this world.

I have worked hard at overcoming this feeling of needing to have more money (even when I have plenty).  I have worked at valuing myself more, knowing I'm worth more than the dollar bill, knowing that my health and my life is more important than putting myself through extreme stress to take home an average paycheck.  Truly believing my skills and talents are worthy of an energy exchange with money.  Am I there yet?  I'm getting closer.  I feel it and the Universe is responding.

I have noticed that the people we view as "abundant" in the financial world are often very confident, highly energetic and really give to the world their talents and gifts with great faith in themselves.  I'm not saying all "rich" people are like this, but many are.  You have heard that the more we give, the more we receive, right?  I'm starting to experience this a little more.  Recently I've finally been feeling healthier and more energetic and have thus been contributing more to the world in general.  And guess what?  I just won 2 different drawings yesterday!  The only 2 contests I've entered in a very long time.  I also got a call from someone who saw my photography site to ask about doing a photo shoot.  I know that I'm receiving a little more because I've started to open up and give a little more energy lately.  But I still struggle to truly OWN who I am, to OWN my gifts and talents and to share them fully.  I often admire people that have such confidence at the core and in their hearts.  When you truly believe in yourself, others believe in you too and what you have to offer.  And then the energy exchange happens.  I believe you will receive in many different forms, money being one of them.

So, what is holding me back from TRULY believing in me?  It's still a remnant of that little voice, that little girl inside that feels like what she has to say isn't heard and doesn't matter....so she stands in the background to stay out of the way.  She lets others take charge.  She doesn't want to step up and speak up because she might get yelled at or criticized or judged or worst of all, dis-liked, un-loved, rejected.

It's time to tell that little girl that she is AWESOME, she is WORTHY, and she has so much to give to the World!  It's time to OWN who she is, fully and completely and LOVE it, LOVE her!  Have you realized how easy it is to say, but how hard it is to fully embrace and accept?  I know I'm getting closer, much closer and it is being reflected to me.  The world is a mirror after all.  The energy we put out is reflected back to us in other ways.

I'm ready to allow myself to receive more fully.  It's time.  It's time.  It's really time!!  (Am I convinced yet?).

Ometeotl

Photo compilation of two original images by Melanie Metz

             

Challenges of Creating My Life

Arielle asked us to reflect on what we spend time doing in our life vs. what our passions are and to determine if there is a disconnect between the two.

Surprisingly, I actually do spend most of my time doing what I feel called to do at a soul level these days.  It was not always this way!  Gradually, over time, I have begun to create the life that I want.  It has not been easy!  It has been lots of hard, deep work on my inner self and emotional pains from over the years.  I still have great lengths to go and every day is a new challenge physically, emotionally and spiritually...but I am making progress.

A few years ago my health crashed hard and yet doctors couldn't find anything "wrong" with me.  It was a great struggle.  Through that challenge I was able to find my spiritual path and soon began a great shift in my life.  I shifted from mindlessly walking through the daily routine of what I was conditioned to do, of what society expected of me to do and started to follow the true calling of my soul.  I began to wake up and live my life more consciously, more mindfully.

I have been very fortunate to be married to my soul mate who supports me 100%.  Because of his support, I have been able to leave my "normal" job as a corporate manager at an Environmental Testing company and focus on my healing and internal calling.  I have known for a while that my calling is to do healing work and continue with photography.  I have always been passionate about photography and helping others.  I want to share what I've learned over the past few years on my healing journey and help others on their healing path.  I feel this so deeply in my soul that I cry when I think about it.

On my recent healing journey, so many amazing people have appeared in my life and I am so grateful.  I have been able to connect with women in a way I never could in the past.  I have grown so much through their love and support.

My biggest challenge at this point in my life is really owning who I am and what I have to share.  To fully release the fears and doubts of "not being good enough".  I continue to take classes and learn more and more from experience but it has been hard for me to step up and start to teach what I know...  To say to the world "I'm ready!" and trust that it will all unfold beautifully and exactly as it should.

I had the opportunity to teach a spiritual healing technique and some bodywork to my Traditional Indigenous Healing program classmates last weekend.  If felt so amazing.  As I was teaching, I really felt in my element and it all flowed so naturally.  I really feel called to teach self-healing in some way, but I am not clear on exactly what or how.  I think the key for me is to JUST DO IT!  To just take that first step, to start with something, anything!  I have spent too much time trying to understand the whole picture, to have all the details in place and to know exactly what, when and how.  I believe there is value in planning and preparing but sometimes we just need to take action, even if it is just a small step.

Another goal I have is to commit even more to a daily spiritual practice.  To spend at least 15 minutes in my "Spirit Room" to use my tools for spiritual health and growth...to meditate, journal, dance, channel, ask questions, listen to my soul, etc, etc.  I do these things but not on a regular, daily basis.  I know that with more commitment I will find more growth, greater connection to spirit and my higher self and find more answers and guidance.

So, I say here and now, I commit to my daily spiritual practice!  I also commit to begin to share healing tools with others and offer my support on their path in whatever way I can.  And if you need a photographer, I'm available (metzphotos.com) :-)

Ometeotl!

A self portrait on Bell Rock in Sedona, AZ, one of my favorite places.  Amazing energy!

Your Sacred Path

Today I enjoyed a warm summer walk through the Sherburne National Wildlife Refuge creating images with my camera along the way.  It was beautiful and invigorating despite the clouds of mosquitoes, flies and other buzzing critters!  In the evening I attended a channeling event and asked for any messages that wanted to be shared to come through as I wrote.  This is what came through.  Perhaps it will resonate with you.

Your Sacred Path:

Honor your path, honor your life

and know that you are exactly where you should be.

The path you walk will feel tight and dark at times

but as you continue it will open

to beautiful fields of bright flowers

and crystal blue skies

where suddenly it all becomes clear

...for a moment...

Then the fog will roll in

and you may feel lost

...for a moment...

Simply continue forward on your path

and relax into the twists and turns.

For when you release resistance

you will flow with ease and grace 

through the rocky terrain.

And when you come into the light more fully

under the cloudless sky

and the singing birds soaring above,

stop and take in the beauty and the love.

And carry this love in your heart always 

as you continue on your sacred path.

The serene beauty of the landscape captures my soul.

Traditional Healing Path

Let's call this post "Day 3,4 & 5" of #Sharemysoul!  Yes, I'm falling behind already.  But we don't always have to follow all the rules like I used to think.  So, I'm breaking the rules!  I'm posting 3 days in 1 blog post!  And guess what, the world isn't going to end....and I don't think I'm even going to get in trouble or fail the project.  Wow.  What a concept!  Yes, I was always the student who sat in the front row, asked questions and strived constantly to get all A's.  I was my biggest competitor.  It worked, but it was stressful and I never felt good enough, never felt perfect enough. It feels like it has taken me SO LONG to break out of that pattern of thinking I need to always do what others say and expect, to follow all the rules and walk the straight line.  It's time to break free now and live with more passion!!  That doesn't mean I'm going to become a rebellious criminal or anything....it just means it's time to express ME more fully, without worrying about what others think or if I'm doing it "right".

Well, that was a nice little tangent from my actual intent of this blog.  Today I wanted to share a little about my weekend and my experience on my healing path.  I'm currently in a 9 month program studying Traditional Indigenous Healing ways, with focus on Curanderismo (Mexican tradition).  I am about halfway through the program at this point. I could share so much about how amazing the experience has been so far, but there isn't proper time or space for it in one blog post.  I will say that it has brought me great lengths on my own healing path and has provided incredible tools and techniques that I can use to help others.

I love how holistic the traditions are, using ways to heal through physical bodywork, herbal medicines, food as medicine, emotional work, spiritual healing techniques, energy work and ceremonial tools.  Healing is a continuous process and takes effort in all these different areas.  There is not a magic wand a shaman can use or a magic pill a doctor can give you that will heal you completely in an instant.  Of course, there are miracles everyday and instant "healing" that does happen.  I've witnessed it!  But these are just for one aspect of the whole, for one ailment or emotion that the person is experiencing in that moment.  There is always more work to be done on some level or all levels....emotional, physical, mental, spiritual.  It takes true ongoing commitment to your own healing path to continue with the true healing process.  It will always be a work in progress.  There is no end point.  I am finally coming to really understand this and begin practicing it (rather than just thinking about it and talking about it!).  Wow, what a difference it makes to truly commit to your own healing.  No one else can do it for you, even though they can help you along the way.  Turning to others for support, healing sessions, guidance, etc. is an important piece but you must do your part as well.

Saturday was a full day, the fullest in a very long time!  Our class met outside for the day (9 to 5), in the hot, still summer air with birds chirping and bright flowers blooming.  I won't bore you with the details but I will share that the day involved creating an alter, performing ceremony, sharing, learning, demonstrating, practicing, contemplating and creating a spiritual bath. The spiritual bath was beautiful, transforming and felt wonderful on a hot summer day!  The best part about the class was strengthening our community.  We have grown close and have been supporting each other on our individual paths.  In our current American society we have lost this sense of community and support in so many ways and it feels so good to find it!  I never had much of this in my life until now and I value it so greatly.  I am feeling very excited about giving back to the community in September when we will be hosting a health fair in the Minneapolis area to educate others about self-care and healing as well as offer spiritual healing sessions and bodywork (for donation only). I enjoy teaching and look forward to sharing with others in ways that can help them live a healthier life.

After class, I enjoyed great, healthy food and fun, personal conversations with a special woman (and friend) from my class.  We then spent the rest of the night at a beautiful bonfire with another amazing classmate and other beautiful souls!  We played enchanting African music and danced freely around the fire as the waning blue moon rose above the tall pines and aspens.  We played drums and rattles and gave each other "drum washes" (which felt incredible!!).  We sat quietly at times and talked openly with soft Native American flute playing in the background.  It truly was a magical night that didn't end until 1am!

The next day, Sunday, I couldn't do much besides lay around, nap and try to get rid of my sun headache.  It wasn't a fun day, it was simply a rest day.  It was a day of balance.  There was so much light, fun, energy and activity on Saturday that my body demanded a down day on Sunday.  So I listened and I didn't judge.  I did what was asked of me.  I've learned it is important to listen and respond to what your body is asking of you.  When you don't listen or ignore it, physical illness can and will manifest.  I've experienced it.  I've learned from it.

I realize now that I ignored my body talk for the first 35 years of my life.  It was only when I became so ill I that I couldn't function in daily life that I actually stopped to listen and began to respond to what was needed.  In this life we have so many demands on us that we forget to go within, to hear the whispers of the soul and the secrets of our spirit.  We forget to be gentle with ourselves and truly love and care for ourselves first and foremost.  There is always something more pressing, until we become so sick we can't respond to those outside pressures.  We are forced to go within and learn to listen.  At least I was.  And it changed my life forever.  Five years ago I would never have guessed I would not be working full time as a chemist and corporate manager anymore...and would instead be learning indigenous healing ways, practicing platicas and limpias with strangers, creating alters, clearing my space and energy field with copal and sage almost daily, finding strong community, learning true healing and seeing life in a completely new way.

Life has been challenging but I am grateful for all of it.  I love my stomach and my intestines for the pain they have put me through, for they have opened my heart and the eyes of my soul.  They have shown me a new life of greater love, connection and magic.  Thank you.  Ometeotl.

Copal burning on the alter for the opening ceremony at our traditional healing class. - Photo by Melanie Metz

Photo of our Traditional Healing class by Tommy (Kim Hart's husband).  Love this community!

One of the Jaguar's protecting the direction of the South on our Alter. - photo by Melanie Metz

One of our teachers, Selma, preparing a spiritual bath. - Photo by Melanie Metz