I don't have a plan. I am simply going to write this blog in the now moment, from the depths of my heart. (Sounds kind of like my life right now, not really sure of the plan). It has been a couple weeks and I miss this. For many it has been a busy month with the holidays upon us. For some it has been an emotional month, perhaps even a dark month as the rhythm of life on this part of the planet enters the cold darkness of winter. It is a time to retreat, to go within, and to reflect on what resides in our core...and what resides in our shadows.
This time of darkness and shadows is challenging for me. I am forced to feel the "icky" stuff in my soul as it bubbles to the surface. It doesn't feel good, to say the least. And I find myself not always making the best decisions in dealing with it, learning from it and shifting it. I feel stagnant. I feel heavy. I feel confused.
When I do consciously choose to do something I know will help, I do feel better, for at least a portion of the day. For example, when I force myself to get up and get on the treadmill and walk, walk, walk my energy shifts and my mood lifts. The treadmill is certainly not as rejuvenating as walking amongst the tall pines and dark soil, but it will have to do for now. A bath helps too. As well as meditating and talking to friends. I have moments, moments that feel good. But then I wake up again in shadows the next morning. Another day to navigate through the dark, literally and figuratively.
My body is feeling it now. My stomach hurts, my heart is doing funky things and I don't want to move. I wish I was a bear. I wish I could just crawl into a deep, dark cave and fall asleep until the air warms and the snow melts and the light returns. I wish I could dream it all away. How beautiful that would be. But I can't. I must go on! I must march through the madness of the shadows and battle with the emotions. And then I wonder again, why? Why is this what life is about? It is, isn't it? To feel and experience all emotions, the suffering as well as the love and joy. Of course, there are days, months, even years that can feel "good"....or at least better than other days, months and years.
Without the darkness light would not exist. At least that's what everyone tries to tell me in the spiritual books and teachings. I'm still working on understanding this more fully in my heart of hearts. Trying to understand why we must trudge through the muck in life. We all do. We all experience this in some way for some length of time in our life on this planet, in these bodies. And then the bright, sunny, happy days are truly appreciated when they arrive.
Do you know why? Do you truly understand it in a way that you feel it and know it as true?
I'm usually someone who focuses on and feels the light of my soul and sees the light in those around me. I believe in the power of being mindful and shifting thoughts to be more positive to create a better life. But sometimes, especially during this darkest month of winter, it takes all my energy to turn things around. Perhaps they are not meant to be turned around. Perhaps now is simply a time to lie in the muck, to cover my body with mud, and simply feel it and be in it until I am ready to rinse off, rise and walk in the light again.
It is a time to accept the shadow side, to integrate the darkness with the light and find the truth that exists in the duality.
Many Blessings,
Melanie
Monday, November 30, 2015
Sunday, November 8, 2015
Doing the Best You Can
Do you often feel like you aren't living at that optimal level? As though you aren't making the best choices you can in each moment? I experience this most days and lately I'm seeing how so many people are so hard on themselves for not always making the "best" choices. It's that conditioning and drive to think we always need to do better or achieve more. It's so difficult to just be content in the moment, accept who we are and where we are on our path and know that we are exactly where we should be, even when we make choices we perceive as "bad". This evening, as I sit here at home after a full weekend of healing and amazing energy at a Holistic Expo, all I want to do is keep eating chocolate brownies to mask the slight depression I'm feeling. At least they are gluten-free (I keep telling myself). But I know the sugar will wreak havoc in my gut. It always does. And yet I still want more! More brownies, pretty please (with cherries on top). I know it's not the best choice and I know I'll regret it tomorrow, but I still eat the brownies. I'm not very proud of it, but the chemical response from the chocolate and sugar sure feels good and is trying to convince me that I did make the best choice (but I know I didn't!).
I feel like I struggle with this battle often. The battle of making the "best" choices for optimal living vs. doing the "best" I can do. There is a difference. The best choices may not always be the best I am capable of doing in the moment. Perhaps I still eat the brownies because there is some deep emotional wound that has yet to surface and be worked through. And instead of facing it, I'm finding comfort and temporary relief from the sadness through a chemical sugar high. Or maybe I just don't have the willpower and level of mindfulness to always make those best choices. Or perhaps it's my lack of ability to say "no", something I've struggled with throughout my life. I'm working on these things and I know that my level of awareness is greater now than it was a year ago. I know I'm making better choices now, for my highest good, but they aren't always the "best" choices I could make (according to my ideal vision at least). However, I must remember that I'm always doing the best I can do in the moment. And the fact is that will change from day to day.
I have a feeling that tomorrow I will learn my lesson (once again) that if I want my gut to be healthy and to feel optimal more of the time I shouldn't be eating chocolate brownies to feel "better" when I'm sad. Instead, I should use the tools I have to lift me from the funk. Next time I will take a bath, drink some Chamomile tea, burn some incense, listen to uplifting music, meditate...something that I know will help without upsetting my gut. If I keep telling myself this and shifting my thoughts, I will eventually change the habits I have to be more supportive on all levels of health. It takes time and effort but change does happen.
So, the next time you make a choice that isn't the "best" for your body, mind or soul, don't beat yourself up for it. Be gentle with yourself. Remember that you are doing the best you can right here, right now, in this present moment. Learn what you can from the experiences following your choices and continue to build awareness for what does serve you best (another brownie or a cup of tea??). Over time you will notice a positive shift in your choices, habits, lifestyle and ultimately your health and happiness.
Many Blessings,
Melanie
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Healing Powers of Nature
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| Photo by Melanie Metz |
Any form of quiet relaxation is certainly healing on some level, as it allows you to exit the stress mode, that "fight-or-flight" response mode, and gives your body time to heal. However, I find that when I relax in my townhouse in the city, the healing effects are not nearly as profound as when I spend a little time in the woods. I began to notice this about 20 years ago when I would go to my mom's house on the lake in Northern Minnesota. Now I notice how the healing effects are even more profound when I actually hike into the woods and sleep in a tent, in the pure natural rhythms of the Earth and nature surrounding me.
What's interesting is the process of healing that takes place. Since my issues mostly involve the digestive system, the first night and full day in the woods I experience worse than normal stomach/ gut pains and heart palpitations...and I'm extremely tired. It's almost as if I'm in a healing crisis mode. The second day I begin to feel better, both physically and emotionally. The stomach settles and the joy begins to surface. On the third day my energy is noticeably different. Not only do I have more physical energy, but I have a deep sense of peace and my emotions and body are in balance. I feel like a completely new person. It's as if the spirits and faeries of the woods have given me a new body, a new life!! I feel complete inside and out.
While I did study Biomedical Science back in the college days, I really don't feel like trying to "scientifically" understand why the woods are so healing. I just know that they are. And I know in my heart it has to do with our intimate connection to Mother Earth and her nurturing, healing abilities. In our current society we have lost our natural rhythm and close ties to all that is "natural" as we congregate around computers, spend our days in buildings and take walks on asphalt covered paths. We have to make a point to re-connect with our true nature, to the slower, peaceful rhythms of life where deep healing can occur.
The challenge for me is coming home to the city. The healing I receive from the woods stays with me for days and sometimes weeks, but new stresses from daily city life creep back in and trigger my physical symptoms again. Recently, I have made it a point to hike at the nearest Wildlife Refuge on a regular basis, to walk on the natural dirt paths through the trees and around the lake, talking with the birds and relaxing into the still energy of the trees. It keeps my body, mind and spirit healthier than any medication has been able to do.
The key is to incorporate time to connect with nature into your life as often as possible. This can be a week long backpacking trip or simply time spent in the garden or sitting against a tree. Listen to your body and do what it asks of you. If you're really struggling emotionally or physically it might be time to spend a few days deeper in the woods or simply sitting by a lake or an ocean. Find your natural rhythm again and allow the healing hands of Mother Earth to transform you.
Many Blessings,
Melanie Metz
Saturday, August 15, 2015
Living Mindfully as the Creator of Your Life
I've been busy doing some healing work and photography gigs. Sometimes these things take up most of my day and there isn't much time left to purposefully create something more.
Today I was busy again, preparing for our week long camping trip on the North Shore (in Minnesota....not on the Island of Oahu :-) ). As I was cooking some Kitchari (yum!) to take along, I started thinking about what I would create for the challenge today. Then it came to me that I WAS creating! I was creating some incredible food. Not only that, but in each and every moment I am creating my future. In every second of every day I am creating, for I am the creator of my life, as you are the creator of your life, and together we are the co-creators of this 3D reality.
I was then reminded of how we learn it's best to be living in the "now", in the moment, and not dwelling in the past or worrying about the future. However, each "now" moment is actually a moment of creation for what our life is becoming, our "future" as we have chosen to call it. While we shouldn't worry about the future, we should be mindful of it as this is our life being created in the NOW. So, you ask, how do we be mindful of our future, of our manifested life? Be mindful in each moment, each second of every day.
What does this mean to be "mindful" of each moment? To be mindful means to be consciously aware of your actions, of what you are creating with your thoughts, your words, your interactions with other people, your interactions with yourself, the physical movements you make... Wow, it starts to sound a little overwhelming to have to be mindful with everything we do, right? But it's not. If we are awake, if we are conscious, it becomes easy.
The key is to commit to living consciously. Make the commitment to yourself as this will spread to others. As you commit to yourself to live consciously with the best of intentions, you will begin to integrate that which is for your highest good into each moment, every second of your day, every day. You will notice you will start to feed your body, mind and soul that which makes it thrive and live more fully in the greatest love with ease. You will begin to naturally release and eliminate those things that are not serving you (like old emotions, alcohol, etc...). It will no longer be "work" as you stick to your commitment to be mindful, to be conscious. This is not to say that all the pains and challenges will disappear, but they will become easier to walk through, easier to live with and your moments will be more joyful, even during the pain. Yes, this is so.
And these are my thoughts for the day.
Ometeotl
Today I was busy again, preparing for our week long camping trip on the North Shore (in Minnesota....not on the Island of Oahu :-) ). As I was cooking some Kitchari (yum!) to take along, I started thinking about what I would create for the challenge today. Then it came to me that I WAS creating! I was creating some incredible food. Not only that, but in each and every moment I am creating my future. In every second of every day I am creating, for I am the creator of my life, as you are the creator of your life, and together we are the co-creators of this 3D reality.
I was then reminded of how we learn it's best to be living in the "now", in the moment, and not dwelling in the past or worrying about the future. However, each "now" moment is actually a moment of creation for what our life is becoming, our "future" as we have chosen to call it. While we shouldn't worry about the future, we should be mindful of it as this is our life being created in the NOW. So, you ask, how do we be mindful of our future, of our manifested life? Be mindful in each moment, each second of every day.
What does this mean to be "mindful" of each moment? To be mindful means to be consciously aware of your actions, of what you are creating with your thoughts, your words, your interactions with other people, your interactions with yourself, the physical movements you make... Wow, it starts to sound a little overwhelming to have to be mindful with everything we do, right? But it's not. If we are awake, if we are conscious, it becomes easy.
The key is to commit to living consciously. Make the commitment to yourself as this will spread to others. As you commit to yourself to live consciously with the best of intentions, you will begin to integrate that which is for your highest good into each moment, every second of your day, every day. You will notice you will start to feed your body, mind and soul that which makes it thrive and live more fully in the greatest love with ease. You will begin to naturally release and eliminate those things that are not serving you (like old emotions, alcohol, etc...). It will no longer be "work" as you stick to your commitment to be mindful, to be conscious. This is not to say that all the pains and challenges will disappear, but they will become easier to walk through, easier to live with and your moments will be more joyful, even during the pain. Yes, this is so.
And these are my thoughts for the day.
Ometeotl
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
The Four Agreements
I have been reflecting internally on so much about life lately I don't even know where to begin! I know the challenge for today is to share insights on what animal(s) we connect with or would be...but that feels too simple for me today, especially since birds have been very present in my energies this summer. I know I'm in a bird phase and am growing my wings right now. But it's not always the bird that's with me. Sometimes the bear is more present, or the rabbit, or the lion. It changes all the time. Right now, it's the sacred bird (and it's a mix of several). I am sure I can go deeper with it...but I would rather share what's been on my mind.
Self-worth and self-love is such a biggie for most of us, and for me right now. I've been working on it in myself and seeing it come up in others as I do healing work with them. It's just everywhere I look lately (probably because it's what I'm working on in me)! So, I want to write about it more here and see what comes out. There's always a different angle and different insights that are revealed.
I recently re-read "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz and it really resonated with me this time. It made so much sense to put those agreements into practice in my life as a tool to transform more and shift out of those stuck old patterns/ programming that just don't want to leave (time to kill the parasite!)...or are so ingrained that they keep showing up again and again. One thing I keep thinking about, and a big one for me, is the second agreement to "not take things personally". It sounds a little shallow and too easy at face value. But when you read the book and read more into the meaning of it, it starts to make sense....lots of sense! I don't really want to write it all out here. I suggest you read the book if you are interested or feel called to.
So, if I start to look at more things in my life this way, I realize how much I have taken personally, how often I assume (oh! there's the third agreement...don't assume) someone is upset because of me (even when I haven't done anything to upset them). Always worried about doing what makes others happy or makes them feel good. Worried about how others will react to me as I walk down the street or what they will think about what I post on facebook. Anyway, this leads into how we tend to constantly look outside ourselves for the "kudos", the love, the accolades, the acknowledgments that somehow prove we are worthy, good enough, doing good work, etc, etc. I know this was covered some by the "knight in shining armor" reflections but it's still coming up. And I see it everywhere I turn in my life and other's lives.
Even when we have done the work and get to a point of thinking we are our own knight in shining armor, our own hero, complete in who we are, how often do we still look for those accolades? For the validation that yes, we are good enough? Better yet, that we are hard workers and we are awesome! When you post your reflections for each challenge (or just a photo or other comment) on facebook, do you keep looking to find out who has responded or liked it? Does it make you feel "good" if several people said how much it meant to them or how beautiful it was and how wise or creative you are? Do you want to see more of that? Does it make you feel "bad" if no-one comments or only 2 people liked it? Do you start to wonder why...why is my post not connecting with people the way that other person's did? Am I not creative enough, am I not deep enough, am I not being vulnerable enough, am I being too vulnerable? It seems so easy to fall back into that hole...even when you are aware of it.
I will admit, every now and then a hint of that self-judgement starts to creep up in various situations (and yes, on facebook too!). But if I try to remember to "not take things personally" I remember that I am worthy and "good enough" whether or not anyone sees it. Because, after all, what they are really seeing in me is a reflection of themselves. So, it isn't personal. They aren't reacting to me, they are reacting to what they see in themselves through me. If you love me, you are loving yourself. If you see the beauty in me, you are seeing the beauty in yourself. If you think I'm crazy, there is something being triggered in you to look more closely at. Perhaps, also, the way people react to us is allowing us to see where we are on our paths or just how we see ourselves in the moment. If everyone around me is repelled by me, perhaps it's because I'm repelled by myself so it's time to take a look at why (shadow work!). If everyone around me is showering love, perhaps it's because I'm showering myself with love and self-care so it's being reflected back to me. This is complicated, right? In one aspect, others are seeing themselves in me and reacting based on what they see in themselves....and yet, in the other aspect, how I perceive they are reacting to me is a reflection of me and how I am treating or seeing myself. Confused yet? I am a little. LOL!
Oh..and one more thing. We all live with different belief systems, different truths, different realities. So why should it matter if my truth isn't "approved" by others? It doesn't mean I'm any less worthy or that my truth is any less valid.
Ultimately, as I practice not taking things personally but still being responsible for my choices, being authentic, being aware, being compassionate and walking a path of highest good, I am able to start stepping more fully into my power and really feeling my true self-worth. I feel more present and whole. This is really new for me and some days are harder than others. But then I just remind myself to "do the best I can". That's all we can do right?, do the best we can in each moment (fourth agreement!).
Ometeotl
Self-worth and self-love is such a biggie for most of us, and for me right now. I've been working on it in myself and seeing it come up in others as I do healing work with them. It's just everywhere I look lately (probably because it's what I'm working on in me)! So, I want to write about it more here and see what comes out. There's always a different angle and different insights that are revealed.
I recently re-read "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz and it really resonated with me this time. It made so much sense to put those agreements into practice in my life as a tool to transform more and shift out of those stuck old patterns/ programming that just don't want to leave (time to kill the parasite!)...or are so ingrained that they keep showing up again and again. One thing I keep thinking about, and a big one for me, is the second agreement to "not take things personally". It sounds a little shallow and too easy at face value. But when you read the book and read more into the meaning of it, it starts to make sense....lots of sense! I don't really want to write it all out here. I suggest you read the book if you are interested or feel called to.
So, if I start to look at more things in my life this way, I realize how much I have taken personally, how often I assume (oh! there's the third agreement...don't assume) someone is upset because of me (even when I haven't done anything to upset them). Always worried about doing what makes others happy or makes them feel good. Worried about how others will react to me as I walk down the street or what they will think about what I post on facebook. Anyway, this leads into how we tend to constantly look outside ourselves for the "kudos", the love, the accolades, the acknowledgments that somehow prove we are worthy, good enough, doing good work, etc, etc. I know this was covered some by the "knight in shining armor" reflections but it's still coming up. And I see it everywhere I turn in my life and other's lives.
Even when we have done the work and get to a point of thinking we are our own knight in shining armor, our own hero, complete in who we are, how often do we still look for those accolades? For the validation that yes, we are good enough? Better yet, that we are hard workers and we are awesome! When you post your reflections for each challenge (or just a photo or other comment) on facebook, do you keep looking to find out who has responded or liked it? Does it make you feel "good" if several people said how much it meant to them or how beautiful it was and how wise or creative you are? Do you want to see more of that? Does it make you feel "bad" if no-one comments or only 2 people liked it? Do you start to wonder why...why is my post not connecting with people the way that other person's did? Am I not creative enough, am I not deep enough, am I not being vulnerable enough, am I being too vulnerable? It seems so easy to fall back into that hole...even when you are aware of it.
I will admit, every now and then a hint of that self-judgement starts to creep up in various situations (and yes, on facebook too!). But if I try to remember to "not take things personally" I remember that I am worthy and "good enough" whether or not anyone sees it. Because, after all, what they are really seeing in me is a reflection of themselves. So, it isn't personal. They aren't reacting to me, they are reacting to what they see in themselves through me. If you love me, you are loving yourself. If you see the beauty in me, you are seeing the beauty in yourself. If you think I'm crazy, there is something being triggered in you to look more closely at. Perhaps, also, the way people react to us is allowing us to see where we are on our paths or just how we see ourselves in the moment. If everyone around me is repelled by me, perhaps it's because I'm repelled by myself so it's time to take a look at why (shadow work!). If everyone around me is showering love, perhaps it's because I'm showering myself with love and self-care so it's being reflected back to me. This is complicated, right? In one aspect, others are seeing themselves in me and reacting based on what they see in themselves....and yet, in the other aspect, how I perceive they are reacting to me is a reflection of me and how I am treating or seeing myself. Confused yet? I am a little. LOL!
Oh..and one more thing. We all live with different belief systems, different truths, different realities. So why should it matter if my truth isn't "approved" by others? It doesn't mean I'm any less worthy or that my truth is any less valid.
Ultimately, as I practice not taking things personally but still being responsible for my choices, being authentic, being aware, being compassionate and walking a path of highest good, I am able to start stepping more fully into my power and really feeling my true self-worth. I feel more present and whole. This is really new for me and some days are harder than others. But then I just remind myself to "do the best I can". That's all we can do right?, do the best we can in each moment (fourth agreement!).
Ometeotl
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| Two young eagles observing the world from above, learning how to survive out there. |
Friday, August 7, 2015
Energy of Money and Self Worth
Our challenge today is to reflect on money and our relationship with it. This is always an interesting topic!
Money is energy, like everything is. The problem is that many of us value money more than almost anything else because we feel we need money to be able to do what we want, have what we want, heck...even to to simply survive (buy food, shelter, clothing)! Our society and conditioning has led us to put money above all else and to feel like we never have enough. Well, when we do this, we de-value ourselves on an energetic level. We see money as the highest vibration. If we continue on this path, we are not able to place our own vibration at the same level as "money", making it almost impossible to attract it into our lives (since like attracts like, right?). It's hard to truly believe in our core that we ARE more worthy than the almighty dollar. We are valuable and deserve abundance in all areas of life! So how do we shift out of that old pattern of putting money above us, as better than us? I'm still working on it.
I have struggled with my thoughts and energy around money for a long, long time and still do. I never made money my priority in life but always felt I needed to get the 8-5 job to make money to pay the bills, to eat, to live. Rather than truly taking time to follow my passion I went right for the job after college. I somehow believed that it wasn't possible to make money from my passion of photography because it was just a life-long hobby, just a passion. I believed somewhere in my core, as my husband continues to believe, that the harder I worked at that 8-5 job, the more money I would make. I think many of us know this is NOT true!!! Some of the hardest workers are paid the least. But that's the old way of thinking, that we need to have a really strong work ethic and commit to that 8-5 job working for someone else....and eventually work our way up the corporate ladder. But this doesn't make most people rich! Just stressed out and kissing corporate asses. For what exactly? Don't get me wrong, some people do enjoy those jobs and I'm happy for them. I'm just not one of them. But I stayed in that job for way too long because I didn't think I was "good enough" to actually make money doing what I love most. How silly is that?
I have experienced struggle, stress, anxiety, depression and illness related to "not having enough" money. I even took a big risk in running my own business (with my husband) for a couple years and ended up needing to declare bankruptcy. That sucked. And still creates a bit of fear within me to venture out and do my own business again (because I see "failure!" from past experience). But, guess what? I've always been comfortable. I've always had food and shelter. I may not have more than a few bucks in my savings account, but my life is quite luxurious compared to many in this world.
I have worked hard at overcoming this feeling of needing to have more money (even when I have plenty). I have worked at valuing myself more, knowing I'm worth more than the dollar bill, knowing that my health and my life is more important than putting myself through extreme stress to take home an average paycheck. Truly believing my skills and talents are worthy of an energy exchange with money. Am I there yet? I'm getting closer. I feel it and the Universe is responding.
I have noticed that the people we view as "abundant" in the financial world are often very confident, highly energetic and really give to the world their talents and gifts with great faith in themselves. I'm not saying all "rich" people are like this, but many are. You have heard that the more we give, the more we receive, right? I'm starting to experience this a little more. Recently I've finally been feeling healthier and more energetic and have thus been contributing more to the world in general. And guess what? I just won 2 different drawings yesterday! The only 2 contests I've entered in a very long time. I also got a call from someone who saw my photography site to ask about doing a photo shoot. I know that I'm receiving a little more because I've started to open up and give a little more energy lately. But I still struggle to truly OWN who I am, to OWN my gifts and talents and to share them fully. I often admire people that have such confidence at the core and in their hearts. When you truly believe in yourself, others believe in you too and what you have to offer. And then the energy exchange happens. I believe you will receive in many different forms, money being one of them.
So, what is holding me back from TRULY believing in me? It's still a remnant of that little voice, that little girl inside that feels like what she has to say isn't heard and doesn't matter....so she stands in the background to stay out of the way. She lets others take charge. She doesn't want to step up and speak up because she might get yelled at or criticized or judged or worst of all, dis-liked, un-loved, rejected.
It's time to tell that little girl that she is AWESOME, she is WORTHY, and she has so much to give to the World! It's time to OWN who she is, fully and completely and LOVE it, LOVE her! Have you realized how easy it is to say, but how hard it is to fully embrace and accept? I know I'm getting closer, much closer and it is being reflected to me. The world is a mirror after all. The energy we put out is reflected back to us in other ways.
I'm ready to allow myself to receive more fully. It's time. It's time. It's really time!! (Am I convinced yet?).
Ometeotl
Money is energy, like everything is. The problem is that many of us value money more than almost anything else because we feel we need money to be able to do what we want, have what we want, heck...even to to simply survive (buy food, shelter, clothing)! Our society and conditioning has led us to put money above all else and to feel like we never have enough. Well, when we do this, we de-value ourselves on an energetic level. We see money as the highest vibration. If we continue on this path, we are not able to place our own vibration at the same level as "money", making it almost impossible to attract it into our lives (since like attracts like, right?). It's hard to truly believe in our core that we ARE more worthy than the almighty dollar. We are valuable and deserve abundance in all areas of life! So how do we shift out of that old pattern of putting money above us, as better than us? I'm still working on it.
I have struggled with my thoughts and energy around money for a long, long time and still do. I never made money my priority in life but always felt I needed to get the 8-5 job to make money to pay the bills, to eat, to live. Rather than truly taking time to follow my passion I went right for the job after college. I somehow believed that it wasn't possible to make money from my passion of photography because it was just a life-long hobby, just a passion. I believed somewhere in my core, as my husband continues to believe, that the harder I worked at that 8-5 job, the more money I would make. I think many of us know this is NOT true!!! Some of the hardest workers are paid the least. But that's the old way of thinking, that we need to have a really strong work ethic and commit to that 8-5 job working for someone else....and eventually work our way up the corporate ladder. But this doesn't make most people rich! Just stressed out and kissing corporate asses. For what exactly? Don't get me wrong, some people do enjoy those jobs and I'm happy for them. I'm just not one of them. But I stayed in that job for way too long because I didn't think I was "good enough" to actually make money doing what I love most. How silly is that?
I have experienced struggle, stress, anxiety, depression and illness related to "not having enough" money. I even took a big risk in running my own business (with my husband) for a couple years and ended up needing to declare bankruptcy. That sucked. And still creates a bit of fear within me to venture out and do my own business again (because I see "failure!" from past experience). But, guess what? I've always been comfortable. I've always had food and shelter. I may not have more than a few bucks in my savings account, but my life is quite luxurious compared to many in this world.
I have worked hard at overcoming this feeling of needing to have more money (even when I have plenty). I have worked at valuing myself more, knowing I'm worth more than the dollar bill, knowing that my health and my life is more important than putting myself through extreme stress to take home an average paycheck. Truly believing my skills and talents are worthy of an energy exchange with money. Am I there yet? I'm getting closer. I feel it and the Universe is responding.
I have noticed that the people we view as "abundant" in the financial world are often very confident, highly energetic and really give to the world their talents and gifts with great faith in themselves. I'm not saying all "rich" people are like this, but many are. You have heard that the more we give, the more we receive, right? I'm starting to experience this a little more. Recently I've finally been feeling healthier and more energetic and have thus been contributing more to the world in general. And guess what? I just won 2 different drawings yesterday! The only 2 contests I've entered in a very long time. I also got a call from someone who saw my photography site to ask about doing a photo shoot. I know that I'm receiving a little more because I've started to open up and give a little more energy lately. But I still struggle to truly OWN who I am, to OWN my gifts and talents and to share them fully. I often admire people that have such confidence at the core and in their hearts. When you truly believe in yourself, others believe in you too and what you have to offer. And then the energy exchange happens. I believe you will receive in many different forms, money being one of them.
So, what is holding me back from TRULY believing in me? It's still a remnant of that little voice, that little girl inside that feels like what she has to say isn't heard and doesn't matter....so she stands in the background to stay out of the way. She lets others take charge. She doesn't want to step up and speak up because she might get yelled at or criticized or judged or worst of all, dis-liked, un-loved, rejected.
It's time to tell that little girl that she is AWESOME, she is WORTHY, and she has so much to give to the World! It's time to OWN who she is, fully and completely and LOVE it, LOVE her! Have you realized how easy it is to say, but how hard it is to fully embrace and accept? I know I'm getting closer, much closer and it is being reflected to me. The world is a mirror after all. The energy we put out is reflected back to us in other ways.
I'm ready to allow myself to receive more fully. It's time. It's time. It's really time!! (Am I convinced yet?).
Ometeotl
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| Photo compilation of two original images by Melanie Metz |
Thursday, August 6, 2015
Challenges of Creating My Life
Arielle asked us to reflect on what we spend time doing in our life vs. what our passions are and to determine if there is a disconnect between the two.
Surprisingly, I actually do spend most of my time doing what I feel called to do at a soul level these days. It was not always this way! Gradually, over time, I have begun to create the life that I want. It has not been easy! It has been lots of hard, deep work on my inner self and emotional pains from over the years. I still have great lengths to go and every day is a new challenge physically, emotionally and spiritually...but I am making progress.
A few years ago my health crashed hard and yet doctors couldn't find anything "wrong" with me. It was a great struggle. Through that challenge I was able to find my spiritual path and soon began a great shift in my life. I shifted from mindlessly walking through the daily routine of what I was conditioned to do, of what society expected of me to do and started to follow the true calling of my soul. I began to wake up and live my life more consciously, more mindfully.
I have been very fortunate to be married to my soul mate who supports me 100%. Because of his support, I have been able to leave my "normal" job as a corporate manager at an Environmental Testing company and focus on my healing and internal calling. I have known for a while that my calling is to do healing work and continue with photography. I have always been passionate about photography and helping others. I want to share what I've learned over the past few years on my healing journey and help others on their healing path. I feel this so deeply in my soul that I cry when I think about it.
On my recent healing journey, so many amazing people have appeared in my life and I am so grateful. I have been able to connect with women in a way I never could in the past. I have grown so much through their love and support.
My biggest challenge at this point in my life is really owning who I am and what I have to share. To fully release the fears and doubts of "not being good enough". I continue to take classes and learn more and more from experience but it has been hard for me to step up and start to teach what I know... To say to the world "I'm ready!" and trust that it will all unfold beautifully and exactly as it should.
I had the opportunity to teach a spiritual healing technique and some bodywork to my Traditional Indigenous Healing program classmates last weekend. If felt so amazing. As I was teaching, I really felt in my element and it all flowed so naturally. I really feel called to teach self-healing in some way, but I am not clear on exactly what or how. I think the key for me is to JUST DO IT! To just take that first step, to start with something, anything! I have spent too much time trying to understand the whole picture, to have all the details in place and to know exactly what, when and how. I believe there is value in planning and preparing but sometimes we just need to take action, even if it is just a small step.
Another goal I have is to commit even more to a daily spiritual practice. To spend at least 15 minutes in my "Spirit Room" to use my tools for spiritual health and growth...to meditate, journal, dance, channel, ask questions, listen to my soul, etc, etc. I do these things but not on a regular, daily basis. I know that with more commitment I will find more growth, greater connection to spirit and my higher self and find more answers and guidance.
So, I say here and now, I commit to my daily spiritual practice! I also commit to begin to share healing tools with others and offer my support on their path in whatever way I can. And if you need a photographer, I'm available (metzphotos.com) :-)
Ometeotl!
Surprisingly, I actually do spend most of my time doing what I feel called to do at a soul level these days. It was not always this way! Gradually, over time, I have begun to create the life that I want. It has not been easy! It has been lots of hard, deep work on my inner self and emotional pains from over the years. I still have great lengths to go and every day is a new challenge physically, emotionally and spiritually...but I am making progress.
A few years ago my health crashed hard and yet doctors couldn't find anything "wrong" with me. It was a great struggle. Through that challenge I was able to find my spiritual path and soon began a great shift in my life. I shifted from mindlessly walking through the daily routine of what I was conditioned to do, of what society expected of me to do and started to follow the true calling of my soul. I began to wake up and live my life more consciously, more mindfully.
I have been very fortunate to be married to my soul mate who supports me 100%. Because of his support, I have been able to leave my "normal" job as a corporate manager at an Environmental Testing company and focus on my healing and internal calling. I have known for a while that my calling is to do healing work and continue with photography. I have always been passionate about photography and helping others. I want to share what I've learned over the past few years on my healing journey and help others on their healing path. I feel this so deeply in my soul that I cry when I think about it.
On my recent healing journey, so many amazing people have appeared in my life and I am so grateful. I have been able to connect with women in a way I never could in the past. I have grown so much through their love and support.
My biggest challenge at this point in my life is really owning who I am and what I have to share. To fully release the fears and doubts of "not being good enough". I continue to take classes and learn more and more from experience but it has been hard for me to step up and start to teach what I know... To say to the world "I'm ready!" and trust that it will all unfold beautifully and exactly as it should.
I had the opportunity to teach a spiritual healing technique and some bodywork to my Traditional Indigenous Healing program classmates last weekend. If felt so amazing. As I was teaching, I really felt in my element and it all flowed so naturally. I really feel called to teach self-healing in some way, but I am not clear on exactly what or how. I think the key for me is to JUST DO IT! To just take that first step, to start with something, anything! I have spent too much time trying to understand the whole picture, to have all the details in place and to know exactly what, when and how. I believe there is value in planning and preparing but sometimes we just need to take action, even if it is just a small step.
Another goal I have is to commit even more to a daily spiritual practice. To spend at least 15 minutes in my "Spirit Room" to use my tools for spiritual health and growth...to meditate, journal, dance, channel, ask questions, listen to my soul, etc, etc. I do these things but not on a regular, daily basis. I know that with more commitment I will find more growth, greater connection to spirit and my higher self and find more answers and guidance.
So, I say here and now, I commit to my daily spiritual practice! I also commit to begin to share healing tools with others and offer my support on their path in whatever way I can. And if you need a photographer, I'm available (metzphotos.com) :-)
Ometeotl!
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| A self portrait on Bell Rock in Sedona, AZ, one of my favorite places. Amazing energy! |
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